Therapy

Did you recognize yourself in the symptom description? Are you experiencing undescribable and seemingly unrelated patterns for which no logical explanation exists (in the absence of trauma), deep feelings of loss, echo-like feelings that suddenly appear, and so-called psychosomatic problems?

All of the above may indicate pre-verbal trauma. When one looks at twin loss symptoms (see symptoms), they may seem unrelated. In pure talk therapy the issue of a VT is almost intractable and the client may wonder why he or she is not getting better. As we have seen, this kind of trauma tends to get stuck in the body without any logical context.

As of this the only way to 'find' the cause of such symptoms is through body-oriented or 'right-brain' therapies, such as movement, art, sandplay, guided imagery, EMDR®, Somatic Experiencing®, Sensorimotor, and Hakomi. I personally have had the best results with BGT, a form of Holistic Psychotherapy which integrates many of the latter techniques and approaches.

In many cases a state of mindfulness or hypnosis may be needed to enable to client to 'drop into' fetal awareness and to gain access to the transcendent consciousness (or soul); the later may be the only 'witness' which is able to provide the context for all the symptoms.

While therapy can include many modalities, all consulted authors and therapists working with twin-loss agree that successful healing of the profound loss of a twin always needs to include remembrance of uterine events and the connected feelings, sensations and decisions. The next step requires deep felt recognition and realization that one is not guilty of the events and that one did not have the ability to change the twin's death.

Throughout this process Austermann (2006), Steinemann (2006), Rudolf Schneider (Forum Gilching, Germany), and myself place importance on communication and forgiveness on a 'soul-level'. Not only is it vital to reintegrate and acknowledge the deceased twin (or multiples) in the family-system, but also to let him or her move on. Only through this whole process can we achieve an integration of the formerly disconnected body, mind, emotions, feelings, and sensations.

Conclusion

Across cultures, twins (or multiples) have for thousands of years created curiosity and fear. Depending on the prevalent belief system, "cultural opinions of twins and multiples have ranged from godly to evil, and sometimes both views have existed within a single culture. Regardless of prevailing attitudes, societies have often recognized multiples as special, rare, and fragile, requiring elaborate, careful treatment." (Pector, 2007, p.15)

While twin loss is a widespread issue which can be found all around the world, little scientific research and credible evidence has been collected on its psychological effects. Authors such as Schave Klein (2003) and the Twinless Twins Support Group International are pointing out that when a twin dies in child- or adulthood, the survivor is -besides the painful loss- often facing a variety of serious relationship problems as well as other challenges in a world of singletons.

Evidence now indicates that twins are not as rare as we thought; many of us may have actually started out as multiples and lost them in the process of the pregnancy. Clinical and anecdotal evidence clearly shows that, despite the physiological limitations of the brain in early fetal development, those early survivors are facing the same bereavement. However, they often don't understand that they are grieving or that they have retained body-symptoms from the disintegrating twin. To help them heal, we need to reconsider our theories on development, consciousness, and our approach to therapy:

Pre-natal trauma is memorable and may in fact be the foundation of our psychological development.